Keep thou my feet, I do not ask to see. . .

Life is very very odd right now.
I think of you a lot more than I should.

    I love you as sunlight upon a rose. I see you budding and striving to reach me. I reach out and caress you with warmth and help you grow and as you mature and bloom I begin kissing your petals I kiss and warm you until I tire myself and fall asleep. As soon as I wake I begin kissing again. Clouds begin blocking me and I push through them as brightly as I can. I touch you with my finger tips and caress your leaves and you continually reach. So faithful and loving, my little rose. As the days pass by I notice your petals begin to wilt. I want nothing more but to help and fix whatever is the cause of your pain. I begin to kiss your injuries they don’t become well. It seems as if my kisses are the cause. I am the cause of your pain. I have done nothing but love you and by doing so I have been killing you, but still you reach. Almost as if exposure to the sun is worth death. I can not make myself leave you, especially now that you are in pain and reaching for me. I continue to kiss you but as I see a petal fall I pull away a bit. Then the cold winds blow and I see you reach so I touch you again with another warm day. This continues for months. My willpower getting stronger and being able to stay away for longer periods yet still thinking of you. I come back one day to see you have only one petal left. I reach out to kiss you and the petal falls and I know if I had never loved you, you would have never died. I mourn and leave watching as my absence fills the world with coldness. 

It is weird. I used to really update this sucker.
I am living in a very old home in St George. I have been sick with the tummy flu for 2 days and I am married. You are right Alisa, things do change in a year. I have no idea what I am doing or where I am going. I don't know if I will ever get to finish school and even if I did I don't know what I want to be. At the moment all I know is that I am in love with the most amazing man ever, and as of right now that is good enough for me. Life really side tracks you and kicks you in the butt. I was moving along and thinking I was going in a pretty steady direction and then BAM! I fell in love and got married. Oddness.
Any way I need to go yuke. Have a good night every one.

Let your self be happy! You are the only one stopping something beautiful from happening to you!

Sam